My heart dropped tonight when I walked past what used to be Black Chandelier on East Pike Street. The quirky clothes, charming accessories, and sweet shop girls have vanished. All that remains in the dark storefront are partially dismantled pop-arty display racks and one lonely, armless office chair.
Only 21 people have applied to fill the council seat being vacated by Jim Compton—less than a quarter of the 100-plus folks who applied for the position now held by Richard McIver. The deadline is Friday; if you’re interested, job details are here.
Intimidated by the thought of taking on a stellar list of candidates? You can’t be much less prepared than Orin O’Neill, whose stated objective for applying for the council is to “make a career transition from corporate MIS to web development and/or editorial content creation/editing” and whose accomplishments include writing “descriptive paragraphs for nearly all the cars and trucks featured” on Microsoft’s car web site; or than Douglas Mays, whose resume lists his elementary schools and whose qualifications include the fact that he was a “multi year state champion in soccer.”
Then, of course, there’s failed mayoral candidate Al Runte, who says his “commitment to Seattle’s future is unqualified” and again (if not for the first time) quotes Theodore Roosevelt. “While it is true that I did not gain a majority vote in my first attempt at elective public office,” Runte writes in his application letter,
I see clearly now what Theodore Roosevelt meant. “It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.”
One reason so few people have applied is that the position lasts slightly less than a year; and just nine months after taking the job in late January, the new council member will have to run for reelection in November 2006. Then he or she will have to run again in 2007, when Compton’s term would have been up. Facing the choice between seeking appointment to a short-term position, and running a full-fledged campaign against a short-tenured, weak incumbent in November, some of the would-be contenders have almost certainly opted to wait.
Awesome! I’d gotten an eensty bit tired of Wonkette, though I loved her blog for a long while. But I got obsessed with Underneath Their Robes during the John Roberts nomination hearings. David Lat is hilarious.
It’s official: In the forthcoming issue of Vanity Fair, celebrity teen Lindsay Lohan admits she dabbled in drugs and spent last year battling bulimia.
From the AP report about the Vanity Fair article:
Lohan says that before hosting NBC’s “Saturday Night Live,” Tina Fey and “SNL” executive producer Lorne Michaels sat her down.“They said, `You need to take care of yourself. We care about you too much, and we’ve seen too many people do this, and you’re talented,’ and I just started bawling,” Lohan says. “I knew I had a problem and I couldn’t admit it.”
“I saw that `SNL’ after I did it,” she adds. “My arms were disgusting. I had no arms.”
It’s true: Her arms were disgusting. Good luck, Lindsay! Have a milkshake!
Speculation about the Fitzgerald investigation is quiet for the moment, but the Congressional corruption investigation is at a sexy, sexy tipping point. Which makes it seem like a good time for me to set aside Today in Speculation for a new occasional Slog series… Today in Corruption:
TODAY IN CORRUPTION
* Jack Abramoff, looking less like a mobster and more like a yuppie, was in Florida today pleading guilty to conspiracy and wire fraud charges. Yesterday, it was “guilty” to fraud, tax evasion, and conspiracy to bribe public officials in Washington, D.C.
Why is the Republican lobbyist’s decision to plead guilty and cooperate with prosecutors such a big fucking deal? The Note puts it thusly:
So just how many members of Congress may be implicated by Jack Abramoff’s decision to provide information to investigators?Wall Street Journal: “…could implicate 60 lawmakers”
New York Times: “a dozen lawmakers”
Washington Post: “…about half a dozen House and Senate members”
USA Today: “…at least 12 lawmakers”
New York Post: “… as many as 20 Congress members and staffers”
With Congressional elections just 11 months away, that’s very bad news for Republicans. It seems likely there will be a parade of conservative lawmakers going down or cutting deals with prosecutors, one after another, over the next few months—which will give more and more traction to the Democrats’ charge that Republicans have created a “Culture of Corruption” in D.C., and need to be booted out in the November elections.
This is too heavy a news day for Today in Corruption to do much more than refer you to The Note, which has already collected all of today’s juiciest news stories here. But stay tuned, we’ll be doing some noting of our own on this subject in the future.
In this week’s paper (which is hitting the streets today), we ran an updated version of last week’s web story titled “Shit’s Fucked Up,” which was about the controversial local organization called FSU and the all-ages hardcore music scene (it can still be found here).
One reaction a lot of people had to the story, was that FSU’s side of the story wasn’t represented. But, as I stated in the article, a number of FSU members were contacted and they all declined to comment. That was the case for the updated version as well. But yesterday a member of FSU (who asked to remain anonymous, but is not from Seattle) did decide to answer a few of my questions regarding the group. Unfortunately I didn’t get the response until after press time. He did, though, give me permission to post his e-mail on our website, which you can read below unedited and in its entirety.
I’ll link the updated story tomorrow, when it’s posted with the rest of the new issue.
An Italian court is being asked to decide whether Jesus ever really existed or if the Roman Catholic Church has been lying all these years. The plantiff, Luigi Cascioli, wrote The Fable of Christ, which the publisher describes as “a dossier containing the necessary arguments for a penal law suit against the catholic church with its ministers as representatives—a serious collection of juridical proof which show that the figure of Jesus is no other than the manipulation and falsification of documents…. If spreading the existence of Christ, the Virgin Mary, Joseph and the Apostles has been permitted by law up to now because it was considered a comfort for irrational human beings who need illusions to lighten their burdens, like trusting in magic or in horoscopes, this will no longer be possible because soon, very soon, it will be considered a crime according to articles 661 and 494 of the Italian criminal code.”
Read CNN’s version of the story.
I knew it. God f-ing damn it!!!!
Every time I get excited about the possibility of peace between the Israelis and the Palestinians, I always stop and warn myself: “Josh, it just aint gonna happen.” From the famous Clinton handshake on, no matter how good it looks for a second, it always comes crashing down.
This time, because Sharon was such an unlikely peace maker, I actually thought his third way Kadema party was crazy enough, in a Gorbachev/F.W. de Klerk kind of split from history way, that it was maybe going to happen this time.
Nope. The Middle East just comes up too often on Satan’s I-Pod. Sharon suffered a massive stroke today.
Even without choreography by Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi, the Pacific Northwest Ballet’s Nutcracker experienced its share of violent drama.
Case in point: This eyewitness report from Hot Tipper Kelley, who tells of an audience brawl that disrupted the final night of the 2005 run.
I took my roommate to see the Nutcracker this past Wednesday, December 28. We were seated, the lights went down, the orchestra started playing, and the curtain had yet to go up when we all of sudden there is this huge commotion ten rows down. At first I thought it was a robbery attempt, but apparently a very inebriated man sitting in the $90.00 seats with his family took upon himself to punch another man a row or two ahead of him. In the process, the Drunk Man knocked over an elderly lady causing a near medical emergency. One of the ushers ran over to the scene and while trying to remove Mr. Drunk Man was slapped in the face. The drunk guy took off running and was tackled by the ushers and held until they could handcuff him and escort him out to the waiting Seattle Police Department.
Obviously the ballet is no place for pussies…
The Mayor of a city in Spain is upset about the fallout from their smoking ban…
The smoking ban, which took effect on New Year’s Day, has forced city sanitation crews to clean up scores of cigarette butts outside office buildings, city officials said Wednesday. Saragossa’s mayor, Juan Alberto Bellock, himself a former smoker, asked city residents in a statement to leave their offices “with an ashtray or some utensil which they can use to put the remains of their cigarettes.” …Spaniards, the heaviest smokers in Europe apart from the Greeks, are no longer able to light up in a wide range of public spaces, including food shops, many bars and restaurants and all workplaces.
So, it turns out that the Divorce isn’t on the bill for the Neumo’s show on the 5th, like it says in this week’s paper. Bummer. But all hope isn’t lost, the band will be playing at the Crocodile on the 7th with White Gold and Stabmasterarson!
On New Year’s day my friend Glenn, who is from Louisiana, cooked my house a “traditional Southern New Year’s dinner.” Everything we ate had some sort of symbolism—the field peas were for luck in the coming year, the greens for wealth, the sweet potatoes symbolized the sweetness of life. Then there was the chitlins. They were to remind Southern blacks about the years of slavery and poverty they came from. They made my house smell like boiling dog food.
“Chitlins” is Southern colloquial slang for “Chitterlings” (i.e.: pig intestine). Apparently, when prepared fresh, one takes them out to the yard and sticks a garden hose in one end to flush out the piggy waste. Some people complain if you rinse them too well, as they end up lacking “flavor.”
I will never eat chitlins again. They were horrible. I took one bite and had to force myself to keep chewing. It reeked of rot and decay. I tried to chew without breathing through my nose so I wouldn’t taste it. When I did gasp for air it tasted and smelled like I hadn’t flossed my teeth in years and suddenly opened up a rancid stash of bacteria. It was like eating a mummy.
A study published yesterday in the Canadian Medical Association Journal showed that giving homeless adults plenty of booze to drink improved their behavior…
Seventeen homeless adults, all with long and chronic histories of alcohol abuse, were allowed up to 15 glasses of wine or sherry a day — a glass an hour from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. — in the Ottawa-based program, which started in 2002 and is continuing.After an average of 16 months, the number of times participants got in trouble with the law had fallen 51 percent from the three years before they joined the program, and hospital emergency room visits were down 36 percent.
The Stranger was, as we sometimes are, ahead of the curve on this one. In 2002 Charles Mudede made this modest proposal:
Most of the problems associated with pubic intoxication (public vomiting, urination, and other disturbances) are caused by off-premises consumption, or public drinking. If there were more opportunities for homeless people to drink in private, most of these unpleasant activities would be significantly reduced. The solution? Open bars in the homeless shelters—preferably in the basements of these shelters—which would keep drinkers, and the effects of their drinking, out of public sight. True, there would still be people begging, but the deleterious effects of drinking would be moved indoors. The shelter bar would sell cheap but potent forms of alcohol, and not in mugs or cups or cans, but in big plastic buckets that require considerable effort to carry from the bar to the table. (The tables should be made of thick wood like the tables in the Comet Tavern.) The reason for buckets is they would foster communal drinking and communal bonds.
The only thing Charles got wrong was not proposing that the booze be given away for free, as was the case in Ottawa. We shouldn’t just open bars in homeless shelters, but open open bars.
Wonkette is getting out of the blogging biz—but her blog lives on.
Because you can never get enough of Nirvana, a new documentary is in the works, with filming already underway in Kurt Cobain’s Aberdeen, Washington hometown. NME reports that the film will be narrated by Cobain himself. Huh?
“The film is based on a series of interviews that [Come As You Are author] Michael Azerrad conducted with Kurt while researching the book. There are more than 25 hours of these audio interviews in all, none of which have been heard before by anyone,” director AJ Schnack told NME.COM.“I worked with Michael to cull an approximately 95-minute audio track from these interviews. While I’m not sure that ‘narrated’ is exactly the right word, you will be listening in on conversations between Kurt and Michael, with Kurt telling his life story for that book. There are no additional interviews with other figures from Kurt’s life, just Kurt speaking, with an occasional question or comment from Michael.”
The other members of Nirvana are not involved with the currently untitled film, which is set to be screened at various film festivals next autumn.
Schnack added: “It pretty much covers his whole life leading-up to the interviews with the emphasis being more on him and his general take on things rather than on general band developments. We’re not using any archival footage at all. The music will focus on bands that influenced Kurt during the various stages of his life. It’s unclear what part, if any, Nirvana music may play in the finished film.”
Sick of your workaday life? Tired of begging the wife for sex and dreaming up new ways to knock off your boss? Ever pine for an excuse to wear more makeup than Tammy Faye Bakker? Today’s your big chance to audition for the world’s last true meritocracy: the Blue Man Group!
Head down to the Moore Theatre (1932 Second Ave) sometime between now and five for the BMG Seattle open casting call. A couple of helpful times culled from the BMG audition faq:
“Blue Man Group is not a union signatory.”
“We also pay close attention to the individual’s personality—to look at potential ‘fit’ within the various show communities.”
“All necessary equipment will be provided at the audition site. We recommend that you wear comfortable clothing, arrive on time, and be prepared to try something different.”
And be prepared to vanish and meet others who have fled behind the veil of silence and blue paint. Rumor has it that Tupac, bin Laden, and Andy Kaufman have all joined the Blue Foreign Legion.
For the record, I don’t have a dog, but I love them enough that I enjoy bumping into a friendly one wherever it may be.
However, Josh will find lots of support in the I, Anonymous forum, where a debate over dogs is raging. (Most contentious question: Are short-skirted women “asking” for a dog nose in the crotch?)
There are only five states with less than 10% minority population:
Maine 3.9%
Vermont 4.0%
West Virginia 5.6%
New Hampshire 5.7%
Iowa 8.3%
Given that conventional wisdom says the more diverse you are the more liberal you are, it’s interesting to note that 3 of the 5 Whitey states are Blue states: Maine, Vermont, and New Hampshire. Meanwhile, the two Red states, Iowa and W. Virginia, are on the higher end of minority population for these five states.
A smart friend of mine from NYC forwarded me this analysis: “Perhaps white people turn red-statish if they feel threatened by a poor minority - Mexicans in Texas and Arizona, African-Americans in Mississippi, Alabama, etc., Native Americans in SD, Montana, ND, etc.”
The Guardian Unlimited reports that Pat Robertson and the Christian right are negotiating with the Israeli government to build a Biblical theme park by the Sea of Galilee (where Jesus walked on water and then fed a few people some fish).
Just to refresh your memories: Pat Robertson is the man who called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and threatened Dover, PA with the wrath of God after Intelligent Design sympathizers were voted off the school board last November.
Now this man wants to build a theme park—a place ideally designed for Fun with Children. Not only does the phrase `bible theme park’ sound about as enjoyable as `friendly fire’, but:
A major part of the shore of the Sea of Galilee was Syrian until it was conquered by Israel in 1967. Syria and Israel are still officially in a state of war and Syria insists the return of the Golan Heights and the Galilee shore is a prerequisite for peace.
Who the fuck would want to traipse through a war zone to attend a theme park designed by Pat Robertson and friends?
I bet the man throws the worst house parties ever.
If that isn’t alarming enough:
Fundamentalist Christians believe that in order for Jesus to return, two preconditions are Jewish control of the land of Israel and the conversion of the Jews to Christianity.
Jews, what are you thinking?! How could this possibly end well?
Two out of the last three bars I’ve gone to—The Canterbury and the Cha-Cha—have allowed pet dogs in. This looks like a violation of King County Code Chapter 8.40.190, Seattle Municipal Code 10.10.536, and King County Board of Health Code 6.501.115.
When I go out to a bar, I want to relax. Dogs make me anxious. When I hear the constant jingling of your dog’s collar right behind me, I’m stuck waiting for the dog to scamper over and sniff around my food and table—which, in fact, your dog did (twice) last night when I was there trying to chill out after work and read a book at the Canterbury on Capitol Hill.
Your table thinks your dog is cute. So does the waitress. So, I become the bad guy when I have to “rudely” tell you that “I’m not cool, with your dog coming over to my table.” I told you that, yet your dog raced over, collar jangling, the second some food arrived at my table. (Thus, my anxiety about it wasn’t misplaced.)
I don’t think your dog is cute. And even if some people do think your dog is cute, I don’t care. It’s not allowed in bars and restaurants.
This isn’t a question of who can and cannot control their dogs—or keeping your dog on a leash. No dogs are allowed in, unless it is a guide dog accompanying a blind person.
If you’re not blind, and you want to go out to a bar or restaurant, you have to leave your dog at home—or with a friend. If you can’t find someone to watch your dog, then you can’t go out to a bar or restaurant.
Two kids died of starvation, dehydration and neglect in November—but, hey, at least they had a mother, one who was found “surrounded by 307 beer cans” in her Kent apartment with her two dead children.
Meanwhile in San Francisco, police discover that two kids—aged 5 and 9—lucky enough to have a mother and a father were left at home alone with nothing but cereal to eat while their heterosexual parents gambled in Las Vegas.
According to an essay in the New Criterion (I believe you need to be a subscriber to access the link, but it’s run in other publications, too; try Googling It’s the Demography, Stupid), the West is suffering birth dearth. Many Western nations are not averaging 2.1 children per family, which is the number needed to replace aging populations. Meanwhile, Allah-worshippers are breeding like proverbial rabbits. This scenario, writes Mark Steyn, will by mid-century likely threaten democracy, freedom, capitalism, Christianity, and other blessed byproducts of Western Civilization.
The piece is a classic bit of conservative hand-wringing about the Feared Other, with obligatory digs at multiculturalism, abortion, homosexuality, feminism, and tolerance in general. Steyn may have valid reasons for fretting about the burgeoning Islamic populace, but his argument smacks of the same alarmist propaganda that marked the McCarthyist Red Scare. Nevertheless, I am feeling slightly guilty for not carrying my reproductive weight.
This article provides yet another reason why Portland is currently better than Seattle. It’s the sandwiches. Well, actually the article goes on about “local” food and blah blah, but the reason I covet the New Seasons chain is their fresh, delicious sandwiches, with their multitude of toppings, and the fact that you don’t have to beg for avocados, and wide array of condiments… I hate QFC sandwiches. And Madison Market needs to get with the sandwiches-to-order program.
Also: Amy Kate, please note that here is an example of a grocery store that lists those Seafood Watch guidelines.
I dunno if I’d say that rap is a male art form- cuz i don’t think of art forms as having genitals or anything- but i’d say the measure of bellicosity and boastfulness that has been the norm since jump has definitely been more in the male -oriented, feel me?
Female MC’s are a tough sell either to the public or the dinosaurs at the labels. It used to be more accepted to be a bad-ass chick on the mic, now not even that can really fly. Since Lil’ Kim and Foxy popped up, there’s sadly little mainstream paper for non-slut femcees. Really, it’s not a conspiracy against female rappers, it’s the same conspiracy against smart females period thats always at play.
That said, my favorites:
Heather B(possibly my favorite), Roxanne Shante, Lyte, Mia X, Sista Soulja, Rah Digga, Jean Grae at her most vicious, Marvaless, Bahamadia, Yo-Yo…
Oh, and let’s not forget about Eve. She’s been pretty goddamn successful, and is nice with hers. I fear, though, that Gwen Stefani may have really deaded her cred forevermore.
I must make this confession, and I think it will clear much of the confusion concerning my writing and ideas: Jazz and culture critic Stanley Crouch is my hero and inspiration. There. I have said it. Have a good morning.
Jesus Christ. As if fundamentalist Christians and radical Muslims weren’t enough to worry about, now we have to worry about “radical Hindus” too. Police officers and “radical Hindus” in India are cracking down on men and women who—gasp!—sit together on benches in public parks.
Someone explain to me again how religion improves a society and a culture?
