In honor of our 2005 Regrets Issue, which hits streets this afternoon and is mused upon expansively by Josh Feit here, I’d like to share one of my all-time favorite regrets.

Actually, it’s a regret-by-proxy, although I’m sure if the subject of my second-hand regret allowed herself to feel anything as negative as retroactive remorse, she would burn in shame recalling this brave, well-intentioned fiasco.

Anyway: Every year the Oprah Winfrey Show changes its theme song. Please enjoy this tuneless treasure from the season Winfrey decided to self-actualize by singing the theme song herself.