Slog - The Stranger's Blog

Line Out

The Music Blog

« We Regret the Errors | New Vera Program Director! »

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Presidential Gossip

Posted by DAVID SCHMADER on December 13 at 13:39 PM

I didn’t think it was possible for me to find President George W. Bush any more disgusting than I already do. (That retarded monkey face! That shit-eating smirk! That hideous presidential track record!)

But then I learned—via a friend of a credible White House employee—that our great leader is almost never without a big stinking cigar wedged between his thin prissy lips.

According to my secondhand source, Dubya chain-smokes cigars like some folks chain-smoke cigarettes. (That’s a dry drunk for you). One of this source’s daily chores is making sure no photos are taken of the president with his ever-present smoke-turds.

I love a good challenge. Whoever can provide a photo of Bush with a cigar in his mouth, hands, or behind his ear wins a 30-minute shoulder rub and eternal gratitude from me.

Permalink

CommentsRSS icon

1

I would pay more money than i can rightly afford to see this

Posted by tree | December 13, 2005 3:00 PM

2

I think your use of retarded is so gay and so do a lot of these bloggers

Posted by offense | December 13, 2005 3:22 PM

3

I think your use of retarded is acceptable and I wish you would rub my shoulders.

Posted by guywholovesdavidschmader | December 13, 2005 3:32 PM

4

So gay. Yes. I agree.

Posted by Dan Savage | December 13, 2005 3:51 PM

5

http://www.georgewbushstore.com/201-9000.htm

Posted by Wacky Tobacky | December 13, 2005 3:53 PM

6

"I joined the President in the residence and told him I thought he did great. He felt good too, as he reclined in his chair and lit a cigar." – Ari Fleischer (as quoted in Time magazine)

Posted by Wacky Tobacky | December 13, 2005 4:02 PM

7

Regarding my use of the word "retarded" in reference to President Bush's "retarded-monkey face": I did not use the term to insult the differently-abled or any other human beings. I used it to differentiate Bush from normal monkeys, who deserve better than to be compared to that shitbag.

Posted by David Schmader | December 13, 2005 4:47 PM

8

Excellent point. NOW RUB ME DOWN.

Posted by guywholovesdavidschmader | December 13, 2005 4:54 PM

9

How does cigar-smoking jibe with W's utterly important regime of bicycling and running? Bored out of their skull motherfuckers want to know…

And I agree with Schmader: cigar-smoking is among the most loathesome activities ever.

Posted by laconic dude | December 13, 2005 5:12 PM

10

Fawk. Make that "loathsome."

Posted by laconic dude | December 13, 2005 5:14 PM

11

Make that "regimen." Long day…

Posted by laconic dude | December 13, 2005 5:17 PM

12

uh Dave..he's holding it in his retarded chimp like hand here! Does this qualify for a rubdown?? :D

http://editorial.gettyimages.com/source/search/details_pop.aspx?iid=2894522&cdi=0

Posted by ImpossiblePrince | December 13, 2005 7:45 PM

13

Uh, I remember seeing him playing with and/or chewing on an unlit cigar in Alexandra Pelosi's reasonably entertaining documentary "Travels With George," which was filmed during the 2000 campaign.

Posted by Randomer Than You | December 15, 2005 2:20 PM

14

There is also that Bush look-alike in Madonna's 'American Life' video smoking a stogie, not the real thang, but close..


http://www.mad-eyes.net/goodies/images2/av_al23.gif

Posted by ImpossiblePrince | December 16, 2005 1:00 PM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 45 days old).