who's John Longenbaugh ?

Ouch.

JL is a local director/playwright who wrote for the Weekly, and has feuded with Stranger writers. He lives in CF's building; the two see each other on a semi-regular basis but never speak or sustain eye contact.

Hello Christopher Frizelle:

How nice to be seen! I'm sorry to say that I don't know you, except to know that you write for the Stranger. I also don't really read you. I'm sorry about that. I'm sure you write about interesting things.

I was talking today with someone at the Weekly and he told me you'd written something on the Stranger's blog about me. "They have a blog?" I asked. It took me a while to find this, but it seems very exhaustive. You people at the Stranger lead very exciting lives!

Later--So I just went out and got a Stranger to see if I recognized your face. The picture is all sort of blurry, like maybe it's on an old 50's television or something. Anyhow, maybe it's an old picture. Maybe you're in your 50s too. But I don't recognize you from this picture.

Anyhow, it was nice for you to mention that you saw me. I think I wrote you an e-mail once about something you wrote about Sherman Alexie but Dan intercepted it and wrote back to me. I never did really understand why he reads your mail.

I DO recognize Dan. I saw him on Oprah.

I also recognize David Schmaeder and Brendan, who do stuff in theatre. I don't think I know any of the rest of the people at the Stranger, except for the ones who used to write for the Weekly like Sean Nelson and Bethany Clement.

Anytime any of you would like to say "hi," feel free. You could just wave, or you can come over and say "hello. I work for the Stranger. Didn't you used to write for the Seattle Weekly about five or six years ago?"

You can also drop by for coffee and maybe a biscotti. I live in the building opposite Twice Sold Tales.

Good luck with all of your sightings, and have a Merry Christmas.

PS: I will be out of town this next week, so I guess you won't see me during that time. The guy I have watching my plants and my fish is very nice if you want to drop by and see him instead.

Hey everybody:

Here's a story of the season that you'll all appreciate. I went ahead and e-mailed Chris off this board. I told him the real story of what happened.

This is what happened: I was standing on the corner of Broadway and John, under the Rite-Ade awning, 9:something, staring into space. It was early for me.

Suddenly I thought: "hair product!" because I recently had my hair cut really short, and though I liked it I'm supposed to wear it with product.

As I told Chris, they didn't have any that I liked, so I left a few minutes later. I probably looked sad about them not having any, but Chris had left by this point I guess.

I told him that I honestly, truly didn't know who he was. I have no memory of ever meeting him.

(It turns out I was wrong. Apparently I must have met Chris at some time when I was writing for the Seattle Weekly, five or six years ago, and he was writing for them. But I had no memory of him at all.)

I didn't even have a memory of there being someone on the other side of the street, where he says he was standing.

We're strangers to each other in every way that's possible, yet we live in the same building (as I've learned), and for probably years now Chris has thought that I was snubbing him in the hallway because I didn't say "hi" to him.

Yet it's because I have no idea who he is.

I would guess just about every stupid feud in the world is made up of dozens of idiocies like this.

Anyhow, we passed a few anecdotes back and forth, I told him about my Xmas vacation, and we ended by wishing each other best of the year.

It all feels a little Ann Landerish, don't you think? But it happened.

Peace between strangers is the best kind of peace.

Best of the season to you all,

JL