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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Dangling Modifier… So to Speak

Posted by on December 28 at 14:46 PM

In this week’s Dategirl advice column, Judy McGuire writes:

It’s been my experience that there is usually a lot of liquor involved with the one-night stand. As the owner of a penis, I think you probably realize the penile pitfalls that can result.

This is why knowledge of grammar is crucial. The boldfaced sentence implies Judy is the owner of a penis. Unless McGuire’s a hermaphrodite, the statement is hilariously inaccurate.

I don’t know what’s more embarrassing—her grammatical blunder or the fact that you now know I read Dategirl.

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Dave, the bad grammar is way more embarrassing—Dategirl is often the only thing worth reading in SW.

I would never have brought this up out of the blue, but now that the subject's been broached, I must report that Judy McQuire's cock is fucking hot.

Dategirl still exists? I thought the Weekly stopped running that years ago.

It still occupies space near the back of the paper. Whether it will survive the merger with New Times remains to be seen.

Perhaps Judy is a pre-op transsexual.

The only thing Dategirl has going for it is that it's better than Cherry Popp. Barely. The writing isn't really better at all, but at least Dategirl appears to have actually had a little sex before (a useful history for a sex columnist).

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