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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Consensual Ejaculation

Posted by on December 21 at 12:30 PM

Yes, yes, speculation about impeachable crimes committed by despised elected officials is very exciting.

But let’s not forget speculation about lesser crimes, such as the alleged assault-by-ejaculation reported by Court TV.

Details: A female receptionist in Houston is suing her former boss for assault and battery and intentional infliction of emotional distress after he allegedly launched his pudding onto her. As the civil suit states, “Plaintiff was sitting at her desk doing the work she was given earlier that day when Mr. Garcia came up behind her. He asked the plaintiff to turn around, and when she did, defendant proceeded to ejaculate onto her and her clothing. Mr. Garcia apologized and stated that he did not mean to do that.”

Regarding his alleged exposed penis and vandalism ejaculation, Mr. Garcia contends that every last spurt was consensual, and plans to plead not guilty to the misdemeanor indecent exposure charge that’s been filed against him.

As for the unlucky receptionist: Her attorney tells Court TV that she’s been in therapy since allegedly being ejaculated upon. Full story here.

CommentsRSS icon

That's why I refuse to do reception.

I wonder if it's possible to be an active receptionist? Or, as receivers, are they always passive?

Where I work, you're not supposed to ejaculate on the receptionist, even if it was their idea. It's in the handbook and everything.

I obviously need to move to Texas.

lol drew!

That receptionist—so uptight! Jeez, loosen up a little.

Places all over Seattle are looking for receptionists, and nowhere in any of the ads do they mention taking skeet as part of the job duties. Mister Garcia must have been lost.

Perhaps, and I coulb be wrong, this portion of her job fell under the wonderful title most bussiness use in job descriptions "other duties."

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