This weekend I caught a pair of television commercials designed by the government to warn citizens away from marijuana.

In one, a sweet-looking elderly woman sits alone at a cozy, food-laden table set for two. She waits in silence, fidgeting occasionally, for nearly 20 seconds before a voiceover announces, “Just tell your grandma you blew off dinner because you were stoned.”

In the other, a sweet-looking little girl stands alone in a carnival parkway, holding balloons. She waits in silence, strangers milling around her, for the requisite 20 seconds before the voiceover: “Just tell your parents you forgot your sister because you were stoned.”

For the record, I am firmly against blowing off dates with grandma AND deserting minor siblings in the presence of carnies. However, neither of those crimes are reliant on marijuana. In fact, some would say “dinner with grandma” and “going to the fair with little sister” are two endeavors that would benefit greatly from a nice puff o’ the green beforehand.

The isue isn’t pot, it’s punctuality, and basic human responsibility and non-flakiness. If you’re one of those for whom pot equals brain eradication, please don’t smoke it. But if you’re one of the lucky many for whom pot imparts existential relief and relaxation, by all means, keep smoking—just make sure you show up to grandma’s on time, and don’t forget your fucking sister!