Thanks to the anonymous email I just got, here’s the complete story on the British and their cheery weather reports from The Times in London.

Forecasters have been told to put a positive spin on the weather, writes Adam Sherwin.

It is goodbye to those miserable showers and isolated storms. Prolonged sunshine is expected under new “positive” forecast guidelines issued by the Meteorological Office.

Britain may have a tendency for damp and drizzle, but there is no need for our television forecasters to rub it in. They have been told to look on the bright side and accentuate the positive in an edict from the national weather centre.

There is no need to dwell on a "small chance of showers" when "mainly dry" tells a better story. If there are "localised storms" then it must be "dry for most".

Clouds over Manchester mean generally clear visibility for motorway drivers.

The Met Office insisted, however, that talking up the weather was not an exercise in dumbing down. The new guidelines are designed to make the information clearer and more relevant for viewers.

The guidelines remind forecasters to use "plain English" at all times. They state: "We should express uncertainties in ways which the audience can understand."

A Met Office spokesman said: "We are asking forecasters to think carefully about the language they use. If there is bad weather in a remote, relatively unpopulated part of Britain but it is mainly dry for the majority, the forecast should reflect that."

Forecasters, aware they are performing for viewers, will often open with dramatic examples of bad weather in Northern Ireland and the extremeties of Scotland.

They are now advised to steer the story towards Manchester, Glasgow, London or major travel routes such as the M4, where the weather could be very different.

These reflect the urban experiences of the majority of Britons, the spokesman said.

In some cases forecasters should simply reverse the order of events, placing a "small chance of showers" at the end of the sentence if Britain is expected to be "mostly dry".

This is based on research suggesting that viewers with short attention spans are more likely to absorb the good news, if it is relevant to them, and filter out the bad.

The Met Office believes that practical changes, such as more guidance for summer evenings when people are going out, will be welcomed.

But mutinous viewers, already angered by the BBC's new 3-D "zooming" graphics, have complained that the language has become over-simplified with pressure charts now kept to a minimum.

A BBC Weather spokesman said: "The Met Office guidelines are broadly in keeping with our own to assist forecasters to communicate clearly with the audience. But there is no ban on the use of showers and storms in forecasts."

BBC forecasters are trained at the Devon-based Met Office and create their scripts in consultation with the weather centre. Recent stylistic changes include a ban on using "the North" if the forecaster means "northern England". BBC forecasters are also expected to plug sporting events that are being screened live by the corporation.

The Plain English Campaign welcomed the emphasis on clarity, such as the replacement of weather patterns with a precise time when sun or rain can be expected.

The BBC was forced to tilt the angle of its new zooming weather map after Scottish viewers complained that their nation was being squeezed out of view.

More than 4,000 viewers lodged messages on the BBC website about the £1 million graphics makeover, which removed the familiar sun and cloud symbols.

Forecast, page 75

www.timesonline.co.uk/weather - Local forecasts and weather warnings

THE FORECAST FOR TODAY.

OLD STYLE It's another miserable day for the far north of Scotland with strong winds and some rain.

Last night's mist and fog will clear, leaving a rather cloudy day for Central England.

It will turn chilly overnight in Devon and Cornwall, and temperatures will fall to 8C (46F).

NEW STYLE.

Leave those raincoats at home.

Sunny spells will bring unseasonably mild temperatures of 18C (46F) to London and the South East. It will be a dry day, with gentle breezes at Blackpool for the Conservative Party conference, which you can see live on BBC Two.

If I stand in front of the map like this you can't even see Stornoway.