Each and every week, The Stranger receives thousands of press releases hyping events throughout the Northwest. Some of these events are thrilling (Arcade Fire at the Paramount!), others are insignificant (new Blizzard flavor at Dairy Queen!). And every once in a while comes that rare press release hyping an event to which we wouldn’t send our worst enemy.

Until now.

Meet Cienna Madrid, Stranger contributor and now, officially, Our Worst Enemy™. Throughout the coming months, Cienna will attend those events to which The Stranger would only send Our Worst Enemy™, and report back from the wreckage.

Why Cienna? Why not? She’s tall, thin, pretty, and hilarious when she suffers.

Now please welcome the premiere installment of Our Worst Enemy™.