In a Seattle Times poll, 84 percent of respondents disagreed with the city council’s decision yesterday to pass new restrictions on strip clubs that would ban lap dances, require bright lighting in clubs, and require a “continuous railing three feet” high separating dancers from patrons.

Meanwhile, this mock resolution lampooning the council’s prudish decision was circulating at City Hall:

A resolution replacing the 4-foot rule and the moratorium on new strip clubs with a 4-year moratorium on the use of the term “world-class” (continued below)

Whereas, truly world-class cities do not legislate morality

Whereas, we do

Whereas, the Mayor and a majority of City Councilmembers aspire to elevate the City of Seattle to the level of Federal Way, Bothell, and Lynnwood, rather than, say, Paris or New York

Whereas, suburban cities have figured out that a de-facto moratorium on new strip clubs can be passed by banning new strip clubs from certain distances from churches, schools, etc., and expanding the concentric circles to encompass the entire city

Whereas, we...um haven't figured that one out

Whereas, that option was avoided in order to go after currently legal businesses,

Therefore, be it resolved,

Judy Nicastro was right. Seattle is Mayberry with high rises.

Be it further resolved: City of Seattle elected officials are subject to a 4-year moratorium on the use of the term "world-class”. Any violation will be punished by a mandatory trip to that world-class den of sinful iniquity, Portland.

Be it even further resolved: Seattle hereby adopts a new slogan: "Welcome to Seattle, home of Liberal
Prudery”

Be it extremely resolved: Seattle hereby adopts a new tourism slogan to bring more people like us here:

"Come to Seattle: don't worry, you won't get laid!