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Monday, October 31, 2005

God’s Wrath

Posted by on October 31 at 10:23 AM

Now if a man had been electrocuted during, say, a porn shoot or a lap dance or a confirmation hearing for a liberal nominated to the Supreme Court, the fundies would be screaming about how it was God’s Wrath, His Divine Judgment, the Lord Almighty Expressing His High Holy Displeasure (why can’t God, like any two year-old, use his words?).

So what exactly is God expressing when he electrocutes a fundamentalist preacher in the middle of performing a baptism?

A pastor performing a baptism was electrocuted inside his church Sunday morning after grabbing a microphone while partially submerged, a church employee said.

The Rev. Kyle Lake, 33, was standing in water up to his shoulder in a baptismal at University Baptist Church when he was electrocuted, said Jamie Dudley, a church business administrator and wife of another pastor there.

Doctors in the congregation performed chest compressions for 40 minutes before Lake was taken to Hillcrest Baptist Medical Center, Dudley said. Police said they weren’t called and the hospital referred calls to the church… “He was grabbing the microphone so everyone could hear,” Dudley said. “It’s the only way you can be loud enough.”

About 800 people attended the morning service, which was larger than normal because it was homecoming weekend at nearby Baylor University, Dudley said.

Hm. Perhaps God was expressing that He is a Darwinist, and He doesn’t think anyone stupid enough to grab a mic while standing shoulder-deep in water should survive long enough to reproduce? Nope, can’t be that. The dead pastor already has three kids. While I would take this death as evidence that the universe is random and cruel, fundy Christians will attempt to tease out God’s message. I’ll save you the trouble of having to wait for their interp: As always, when something bad happens to them, it’s God’s testing their faith. When something bad happens to you, it’s God punishing your misdeeds.