With the title of Hot Figurehead Convict ready for transfer to Tom DeLay, the freshly unshackled Martha Stewart is busy splashing herself all over television. Although I am genereally pro=Martha—especially after the bad-assery displayed throughout her incarceration—I can’t be bothered with Martha’s daytime show, where she regularly embarrasses herself with the help of celebrity guests—learning to rap with P. Diddy (dear God), folding t-shirts with the Desperate Housewives.

However, Martha’s nighttime show—NBC’s The Apprentice: Martha Stewart—focuses on embarrassing others, and it’s brilliant. After three seasons of Trump’s Apprentice, producers know exactly how to skew the competition for maximum drama and hilarity, with a key component being potentially humiliating competetive challenges. (Forcing a bunch of rabidly ambitious young professionals to promote and open a gym=kinda interesting; forcing a bunch of rabidly ambitious young professionals forced to write and create a children’s book, then read the book to a group of children=heee-larious.)

Further delight is provided by the addition of classic Martha Stewart-isms: To honor Martha’s eternal hatred of unnecessary plastic, the only water bottles allowed on the show are these gorgeous glass Evian bottles I’ve never seen anywhere else, and Martha follows up each and every firing with a personal thank-you note: “Dear So-and-So, thank you for being on my show, good luck focusing on your strengths, etc etc etc..”

Pretty classy, for a media-whoring ex-con…