Irrelevant? I think not.
You may claim this news item is both late, and rather obsessive, but you must not say it is irrelevant. The Bodo’s bagel shop [click on that link, people: it includes a haiku and a limerick and an invocation to the glory of the Bodo’s bagel—our country’s small alt weekly journalists hard at work] on the Corner (Charlottesville, Virginia’s yuppity version of the Ave) has finally opened! This minor institution took its lovely Southern time opening its third location (10 years, to be exact), and now that it’s open, it’s time for entrepreneur Brian Fox to open a goddamn franchise in Seattle. I need some everything bagels with salt! I need some lightning speed assembly-line service! I need some olive cream cheese! Ex-Charlottesvillians, are you with me? Hey, Dave Matthews, can you pull some strings? Bodo would kick Noah’s ass.