So, the boyfriend and I spent ten days in Europe. The kid was with grandma, God bless her, so we got to do things most parents don’t get to do: Drink, stay out all night, rinse, repeat.

Three quick things …

First, after George Bush stole the 2000 election we went to Scotland to see friends. They didn’t hold Bush against us then; they knew Bush stole the election and they held us blameless. That was then. Now that Bush actually won an electionunless he stole Ohio, which seems possible (see this month’s Harper’s)but even if he did steal Ohio, he somehow managed to win the popular vote, which he failed to do in 2000 (Gore beat Bush by 500,000 votes). The result? Europeans aren’t so forgiving these days. The headline on the cover of a British tabloid”How could 59,000,000 Americans be So Stupid?”captured the mood in Old Europe the day after the election and it’s still operative.

While no one held us personally responsible for Bush’s victoryno one over there thinks an American homo would be so stupid as to vote for George W. Bush (most folks over there haven’t heard of the Log Cabin Kids or Mary Cheney)many folks wanted to know/demanded to know how we could stand living among the stupid millions who voted for Bush. I explained that, as an urban person, I rarely encounter Bush voters. Bush voters can be found in rapidly depopulating rural areas, megachurches, soulless exurbs, Iraq, and body bags. Avoid those places, we told `em, and you can go all day without dealing with a Bush supporter.

Second, people in Denmark, one of three countries we visited, are tall, blond, good-looking, neat, clean, and health-conscious. But the average Dane smokes like burning piles of tires. It was very unpleasant.

Third, the gay bars in Copenhagen were a lot like the gay bars at homethey’re a lot like the gay bars everywhere. We drank in one called “Jail,” that reminded us of the Eagle, another one that reminded us of Manray, and one that was indistinguishable from Re-bar. But we never visited a gay bar called “Men’s Bar.” It was right around the corner from our hotel (which was right across the street from Copenhagen’s cruisy park), but this ad in the gay rag scared us away:

Who knew that fags in Denmark fetishized Latin American Dictators? I mean, they mustwhy else would a gay bar put a photo of Augusto Pinochet in its ad? Creepy.