Berlin is big and weird. And it’s no Amsterdam (which is the greatest city in the fucking world). In Amsterdam, where the Infernal Noise Brigade played two nights on a decomissioned East German fishing vessel called Stubnitz, old ladies ride bikes, the buildings are out of Disneyland, and pot and mushrooms are, like, not a big deal. The hilarious thing about ordering pot in a coffeeshop in Amsterdam? The menu. My favorite was something called, well, it was something like Super Orange Double Chunk Cosmic Blast. Literally. There were also a bunch of canals and hookers and stuff like that.

Berlin, surelz, will impress me, but all I’ve seen so far is a bird with its head torn off on the sidewalk across the street from this hostel where, late into the night, I type. Iäve been here onlz a few hours, I’ve had a couple beers, and this kezboard is fucking with me…