My plan was to cancel the cable, because Comcast is an abomination and I only ever seem to watch Bravo, and then only to watch The West Wing, which I have now seen every single episode of at least 3 times (though that doesn’t stop me from watching the Marathon Monday, every Monday, sometimes for the whole eight hours). I was really going to do it. I was. Then I discovered the Blow Out show, which is gayer than a Stranger editorial meeting in 1996, starring the gayest straight man on cable. And that, my friends, is saying something. Where Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston, with their crack voices and their poo problems, are a prolonged derangement of the senses, Jonathan and his hairdressers are a different kind of train wreck altogether.

I have searched myself for clues as to why this program has become so addictive. Maybe it's because good hair has always been my only asset. Or maybe there is something ineffable about a fancy pants L.A. entrepreneur for whom every single decisionfrom morning coffee to hair product artworkis a soul-shattering, sigh-heaving, I-need-things-to-be-a-certain-way duh-RAMA. Plus, they even have BLOGS!!!.

I don't know if this constitues a response to the bisexuality dispute a few posts back, but I'm just saying...