I have to admit that I DID NOT think “how’d that happen” after hearing about the man who died after having sex with a horse. The dead man is a 45 year-old resident of Seattle. The horse is a resident of a farm in Enumclaw that appears to have been some sort of bestiality brothel.

When I heard that a man died after having sex with a horse, I assumed that the horse in question had kicked the man for attempting to mount and penetrate said horse. I assumed the horse was female. This was not the case. The man died, according to a report in today’s Seattle Times, of a perforated colon.

Oh… my… God…

The Seattle Times refrains from drawing any pictures for their delicate readers, but we’re made of tougher stuff here on SLOG: a perforated colon can mean only one thing. The man was passive, the horse was active. The dead man was getting fucked in the ass by a big ol’ horse cock when something went terribly, terribly wrong.

The Times does hint at what went, er, down (up?):

“We couldn’t believe what we were seeing,” said Sortland. “In the rare, rare case this happens, it’s the person doing the animal. I think that has led to the astonishment of all of the entities involved.”

This story just keeps getting better: When Officer Sorland says he can’t believe what he was seeing he’s referring to the the videotape of this fatal encounter. One would think getting fucked in the ass by a horse would be plenty memorable, and that you wouldn’t need to videotape the encounter to recall it, but not our dead 45 year-old hero. So there’s a video. Should there be a criminal trial, which seems likely (even though bestiality is legal in Washington State, someone is going to jail for this), the video may be introduced as evidence and some poor jury is going to be forced to watch it. It may even be released to the public or, more likely, leaked - this kind of evidence leaks like, well, like a perforated colon.

One final thought: A single man, 45 years-old, lives in Seattle, likes taking itthe biggest it you can possibly findup the butt. I’m guessing he’s a gay-identified horse fuckee. Which makes me wonder… is there a specific hanky color for this?