As some of you may have heard, this guy named Michael Jackson, who used to be a singer or something, will soon receive a verdict in his criminal trial for sexual molestation.

With the charges finallyFINALLY!in the hands of a jury, I’ve tried to disengage from the sort of (peerlessly intoxicating) speculation that swarms around such trials in advance of their verdicts.

However, this morning, Miss Kelly O asked me, “Come onwhat do you think’s gonna happen???”

My reply:

Before closing arguments, I would've put my money on a hung jury and a mistrial.

But after hearing the prosecution's amazing closing argumentwhich elegantly hammered home how a middle-aged man sharing a bed with a 13-year-old boy for one night is one thing, but to do it for 300 nights in a row is something else entirelyI'm beginning to think a conviction is possible.

Added ammunition to the conviction theory: Jackson's defense was left to resort to the worst tactics possible, basically beating the shit out of a 13-year-old cancer patient, whom they characterized as a drunk, horny, devious grifter, despite, of course, his stage-four cancer.

Uh, isn't Michael Jackson the guy who LOVES sick children? That he's left to defend himself by beating up the reputation of one of his beloved kids speaks volumes.

Plus, Jacko's gotten so damn frailtwo hospital visits in the past two days, reports of not eating and a weight of 90 lbs....I think he's trying to Schiavo himself, and am considering asking Congress to demand the insertion of a feeding tube.