So Michael Jackson has been acquitted of every single criminal charge he’d been facing.

Well, good for him. I feel like he got away with something, but he’s innocent of all crimes.

My theory: Michael Jackson is a genius at almost everything he attempts, from singing to dancing to songwriting to selecting his alleged victims (another ten years of effing “alleged”!), as today’s verdicta complete slap at the believability of the victim and his conveniently insane and pathologically untrustworthy motherhas proven.

Now I must go suffer some well-earned gloating.