A propos of Pride, I celebrated the way I always do, the way I feel is only appropriate when you’re straight and down with the struggle, as it were: by abdicating. I stayed indoors for most of the day (uh, watching bootleg DVDs of The L Word), thus ensuring that when I invariably see all the nice gays in the days that follow the event, I won’t have to be thinking of the time I saw them wearing Coors Light Uncle Sam hats and rainbow-colored Mardi Gras beads from Car Toys or whatever while stumbling drunkenly down the same street they march down every day to get coffee. If you love someone, you hardly want to be the one to remind them of how embarrassing they become in the unimaginative pursuit of their own liberty.